In the latest installment of “You Can’t Make This Up” from the world of baseball drama, New York Mets announcer Gary Cohen has managed to dig himself into a hole so deep that even Citi Field’s grounds crew couldn’t cover it with all the tarp in the world.

Cohen recently blasted Cubs rookie Matt Shaw for missing a game to attend Charlie Kirk’s memorial service, calling the absence “unforgivable.” Yes, unforgivable — as if Shaw skipped Opening Day to go binge-watch Netflix.

But here’s the kicker: fans immediately reminded Cohen that he himself once missed a game over the death of his family dog. That’s right — Mr. Unforgivable literally took a day off to mourn his golden retriever, while now crucifying a player for attending a human being’s memorial service.

The hypocrisy was so glaring that Cubs fans practically had smoke coming out of their ears. Twitter (or X, depending on how Elon feels this week) erupted, with fans labeling Cohen a “walking double standard” and demanding the Mets show him the door.

“Fire him. If Shaw’s absence is ‘unforgivable,’ then Cohen’s dog funeral leave is grounds for immediate termination,” one Cubs fan wrote. Another piled on: “Matt Shaw honors a human being. Cohen honors a Labrador. And somehow Shaw is the villain?”

For the Mets — already drowning in underwhelming performances and back-page scandals — this latest controversy might be the loudest call yet for accountability. And while Cohen may have thought he was scoring points by attacking Shaw, he’s now become the punchline of his own broadcast booth.

So the real question isn’t whether Shaw should’ve missed that game. The real question is: how long can the Mets keep an announcer whose bark clearly bites harder than his logic?